Just Right Jillian by Nicole D. Collier

Author:Nicole D. Collier
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2021-11-27T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seventeen

Speaking Up

I didn’t hear my alarm.

Oh no! I jumped out of bed, shocked at the sunlight brightening my room. Shouldn’t it still be dark? I tripped on a basket of yarn and tumbled to the floor, landing in a pile of bundles.

Mama heard the noise and rushed in to make sure I was okay. I wasn’t. Then she made it worse. “You were so pitiful last night, and then you slept through your alarm.”

I sat on the floor, my eyes opening wider the more she talked.

“I let you sleep,” she said. “You just need to stay home today. Rest would do us both some good.”

I opened my mouth to complain, and guess what? Nothing came out. Not even a peep! I tried again, and out came this weird squeak thing. I tried to say no, but it sounded more like a rusty door swinging open in the dead of night. Or a tiny puppy in a bad mood.

“My goodness. You lost your voice? You’re definitely home for the day.”

I shook my head no, pulled myself up, and put my glasses on. Dug into my bookbag and snatched out a sheet of paper and pen. Mama watched as I scratched a note in big letters:

MIND BENDER IS TODAY!

I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL!

“No honey, you can do it tomorrow.”

I underlined HAVE TO and held up the sign again. Pointing this time.

“Stop yelling at me, Jillian,” she said, even though I was only writing. I huffed, and she didn’t like that either.

“Relax,” she said. “Go back to sleep. There’s nothing that won’t wait until tomorrow.”

I squinted at the sign, confused. Maybe I left out a word. Maybe it wasn’t right. But no, all the words were there. I held it up once more, demanding she read it again. Mama shook her head no and left me standing there. The Decider had decided. I plopped on my bed and cried silent tears.

I couldn’t believe it. A million thoughts flooded my mind.

What if I don’t go to school?

What if I let down Ms. W.? Or Marquez?

What if I miss the candling of the chicks?

What if I don’t have to say anything or speak my mind?

What if I just skip today, this week, and the rest of this year and pretend Mind Bender never happened? Can I just sleep and weave and sing songs with Daddy?

Maybe I’m sick because I don’t really want to do this speaking up, being myself thing. Maybe I like it better in my shell.

I stood up and frowned in the mirror. Even my cheerful red glasses didn’t cheer me up. I felt confused. Glad and sad to be home. Like the Last Person Standing, I felt like I won/lost. You promised, Jilly. Promised Grammy you’d really try. What would Marquez say? What would his champions do?

Train your heart.

I looked around my room for ideas. Something that would make my heart feel strong. I saw the red headband. My favorite loom. I do miss weaving. I have to start again, soon.

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